Posted in Random thots.., Time Machine

College Days!





It’s 2 am in the morning and I don’t know why, I cannot sleep. And the weirdest thing is that I am thinking of my N.I.T Rourkela days.

I mean, they were not exactly the most prolific days of my life. When I look back then I can’t even relate the person I am now with the person I was in those days. So vulnerable, so naive, so foolish..

And yet, what a time it was!

A time when we were such half baked humans, easily cowed down with imagined demons,so easily shaken.. Always wanting to fit in with the crowd, so dependent on others for acceptance. They could have been the most useful and productive years of my life, but sadly never turned that way. There were so many self invented constraints, so many worries, so much of self doubt.

And it was a time that just flew!.. Like those years had been some fleeting magical numbers which rapidly vanished from my life’s timeline.

Was it all one big illusion in the grand scheme of things?.. One apparition, one mirage.. One excuse to make all the gullible mistakes in life.. One moment to fall in love, and pay forever for that momentary folly! :P..One time to be the stupidest person on earth and get away with it.. One time to dream the most impossible dreams without the faintest touch with reality.. One time of infinite thick headed optimism which told me that life would be heaven if you have got enough money to spend in your wallet and enough movies to watch in your hard drive. It was a time of happy illusions, where small ups made you so ecstatic and small downs so miserable. A time when my definition of career path was just some job that mints me more and more moolah . A time when money was scarce, but bliss from small accomplishments was huge.. we were so absurdly happy!.

Ok.. I’m rambling now.

The point is, what a time it was! And will a time like that ever come back?.

Posted in My World View, Random thots..

Thinking about Thinking!!!



It’s been a sort of lazy unhurried day, with me doing this and that. Browsing the Internet.. Sketching idle doodles in my imagination.. Many thoughts and memories flashing in my mind!.

And then, in all weirdness pops up this question. Where do all these ideas come from?.

Is there a director sitting inside my brain, crafting a massive orchestra.. Churning out performances as “Thoughts” when I am awake and showing me “Dreams” at night? Do I host some sort of embedded freakish weirdo in my head – doling out “Ideas” according to his whims and idiosyncrasies? Or do these “Ideas” have a mind of their own, sauntering out at their own leisurely pace?.

Sometimes I feel I am a slave to them. I cannot produce them on demand. They only appear out of some fortuitous accident. I can only train my mind to welcome them. Focus on un-focusing my brain, and let the music play…..

What’s the trick? Where do all these ideas come from? Some possible answers:

Maybe it’s the time of the day:
For me, it’s usually the mornings. Sometimes on my commute to work, I can hear many voices talking to me. When sit back and listen to those voices, they give me so many suggestions. Sometimes there are arguments and angry discussions, too many people talking together. The brain is furiously trying to solve unanswered questions, making bits and pieces of a forgotten puzzle fit in together. It’s like you are blank, not thinking of anything in particular.. Some interconnections fire up to give you an entirely new idea. And you have to scramble frantically write it down before it disappears!.

Perhaps it’s in your environment:
We are a complex processed form of the environment around us. Like us, maybe our ideas are also an assimilation of all the people we have met, seen or read about.
Is it some chemical locha, some combination of genes, some sort of cellular mutation ? Or just the madcap in my head fooling around with a magical wand?! Tough question.

Maybe it’s your state of mind:
Ideas come to you only when your mind is free, with no constant drone of to-do lists hammering at the back of your head. For me, it’s very difficult to think out-of-the-box when I have loads of other stuff to do. And when there is a lot of clutter around.

Sometimes it’s in the randomness:
Ideas are like soap bubbles. One moment they are there -all gleamy and shiny, and the next instant “POP”, they disappear!.. And they come back when you least expect them to – while driving your car, taking a bath, or even in the loo! Often they suddenly appear like some phantoms of your past life. Or float in uninvited and uncalled for – like ghosts in the night!!
Maybe there is some method in the madness.Who knows ?

A sense of urgency:
Remember how many “Creative” assignments you have pushed through the door in last minute desperation to make submissions?…A sense of urgency can actually kick start your thinking process. Thinking about extreme things like your own death, or what impact you would have after you are gone can make you extraordinarily creative. If you have a nudging need, don’t abandon it. Think about it. Sit on it. If it doesn’t work out, sleep on it. You might get the solution in dreams! ( Don’t laugh, once I completed an entire chapter for the exam in my dreams, only to wake up and realize that I was asleep all the time!!)

Sometimes it’s Ignorance:
Remember how imaginative we were as kids? Always curious to understand things..Unbiased by preconceived notions, always experimenting without the fear of failure!
But then, we’ve changed. As we grow older, we learn to put things in a pattern. We get addicted to predictability. Anything out of the blue scares us. Education encourages us to organize everything around us into certain boxes, and destroys us. Blame it all on the system my friend – “We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control.”!

So, what do YOU think about thinking?? Give it a thought! 😀